What a time of reflection the new year brings to us. “Bye, Felicia” was the most overused hastag and witty comeback I have ever typed with my short little fingertips. I don’t know Felicia, but that poor girl needs a welcome basket or a party invitation in 2018.
Every 365 days we get a do over. A cold, brisk try again awaits us as the calendar strikes day one. I am quite fond of this slow and cold time of year. It is when I met and fell in love with my husband. I love the newness and stillness that comes with the brand new year. As wild as it sounds, winter is my favorite time of year.
You know, some years are just plain crazier than others and 2017 was every bit of that. It was my best professional year ever and one of my worst on a personal level. I just plain bombed life as mom and wife. Taking on too many good things that were not my best yes caused me to stink up my reign as queen bee of the Lee 3.
I can blame it on a lot of distraction and things not fitting into my plan just like I wanted. Finding out the struggles Henry has in the classroom that went undetected by a therapist we trusted and paid for two years just flat railroaded me in so many ways. Trusting someone to “fix” your baby to find out they were missing it by a mile while billing you for it too is not easy to accept. Bitterness, anger and impatience flooded my heart. I went into fix it mode and mowed down anyone in my path in order to get Henry “fixed”. My sweet boy has come a long way because of my fierce fight but I left a lot of ugly in my path. I resolve to always be his advocate and cheerleader but hopefully we can master that without the ugly mama rearing her ugly head.
My husband is a saint. If you know him at all you know he has an exterior that makes him appear shy or even callous to some…but he is honestly like a cup of jello or like the Pillsbury dough boy. He is all heart and like Vanilla Ice, if there is a problem, he will solve it! I would not have made it out of 2017 with the successes I had if it were not for him pushing me to be better and picking up the debris of my tornado of a year.
This year is going to be my new lease on life. I have cut out the things that bogged me down and robbed my joy and stole my time away from what really matters. I wont be selling anything but real estate (because I am actually really good at it and shouldn’t dilute it), I won’t be volunteering for things that rob me from my first priorities (even if that is beloved church activities that I fear no one else will say yes to if I don’t), and you won’t see me pushing my child to do things that fit the mold society has set for him just so “we” fit in.
My home is my mission field, my biggest blessing and my top priority. Saying yes to all the good things is not always the right thing. I have read every book about this topic and end up ignoring what I learn, even though it is always right on the tip of my heart nudging at me. This is my do over, my clean slate, my 365 days to focus on what really matters at the end of this life.
I will stop the work flow to play trucks with my boy. I will turn off my phone to watch another episode of Blue Bloods with my honey. I will stop and answer the phone when my sister calls and not give her the shadey button. I will laugh more than I complain. I will make my home and my heart a refuge for those entrusted to me.
Now, tomorrow I will wake up and have to be reminded of all this because, just like you, I am all flesh and have to put on that FULL armor of God every dadgum day! If you see me without my shield of faith…come help a sister out!