A Texting Tale

Last Thursday I texted Julie to see how she was doing. She was taking Anna to the doctor and hating to miss the funeral in Fort Smith. I get a text back from Samuel telling me “Dude, this is Sam. Peace I am out!” I just love that he is almost 13 and a T-total preteen. It makes my auntly head spin, really. So, I went on to text him back and I wanted to share the conversation with you. If you know us in person, you will laugh. If you don’t know us outside of this blog, you may just think we are silly. Either way, I wanted to share:

(little Samuel driving Aunt Abby’s old turquoise “Cavy”)

Abby: Where is your mom?
Samuel: She went to Fort Smith with Dad for the funeral. Christy will check on us often. Do not worry and do not tell Marmie!
Abby: What? Is this Samuel?
Samuel: She said cereal and sandwiches and I cannot use the stove.
Abby: You are a dork. Where is your mom?
Samuel: Headed north. I am getting scared. Don’t ever leave Henry alone.
Abby: Where is your mom and why are you not answering the phone when I call? Seriously, I am going to beat you!
Samuel: Duh, She is in Dad’s truck. Probably in Conway by now. Sorry, I could not get to the phone fast enough. I have been with Daniel, cuz he was throwing up.
Abby: You really are a bad dork! Where is she?
Samuel: I am not a dork and I don’t think that is very nice!
Abby: I think you are holding me hostage from my sister and it is not very nice. I think you have a bday soon….u best be nice or your lone aunt will get you nada!

(I then call Samuel and have a conversation with him about this. He tells me David & Anna have taken their bikes and gone to the BP to get lunch. He tells me Daniel is still throwing up and has thrown up all over the den carpet. He sounds so stressed and troubled. We get off so he can go clean up Daniel’s mess. This is all so insane, really)

(big samuel giving his Aunt Abby his “look” for taking his picture in front of his friends)

Abby: The BP called me and said David & Anna stole their lunch. The police are on the way to come and pick all you kiddos up. You are in hot water, son!
Samuel: Sorry. I will send them back with money.
Abby: They are mad and do not want money. You are getting locked up and then put in foster care and your parents are going to jail!
Samuel: You are really scaring me. For real??
Abby: You need to be scared! Those other kids will eat your lunch in that jail!

(I try calling him again to tell him he is King Dork for the day and he does not answer)

Samuel: Daniel is finally asleep and I am trying to be quiet. That is why I am not answering the phone.
Abby: Seriously, PICK UP THE PHONE!
Samuel: What?
Abby: You are full of poop!
Samuel: Why?
Abby: Because you are a liar!
Samuel: That’s not nice
Abby: You are not nice. You ought to be ashamed of yourself for lying to your little aunt. I have talked to Marmie and Granddaddy and neither of them are getting you anything for your birthday or Christmas. They are so very disappointed in you.
Samuel: What do you mean?
Abby: You know what I mean. No more games, son!
Samuel: Huh?

Julie finally called and all the children were laughing at having a grand time with all this. They had all been in the van together, taking Anna to the doctor for her ear infection. Julie encouraged Samuel and he took it and ran with it. He is his mother’s child and it frightens me! Mother and Stephen were also aware of this little bit of insanity. It went on for almost 2 hours. Stephen texted me that they would be fine and Mama called to tell me Julie left them alone and they would be fine. I knew it was a tall tale but it aggravated me in a large way. This is classic Julie stuff. She is the one person that can push that button of mine and she LOVES it. I love that her children know how to do it to me just like she does. It is really funny. I am blessed to have such a fun-loving and crazy family!